Siam Jem, Ataraxia Review
Written by Esosa Zuwa
What do you get when you cross dream rock and DIY and shoegaze indie? You get a Southern California-based band, Siam Jem, led by Michaela Rabina. With a warm fuzzy sound and synth-pop tones, Siam Jem is here to get you to ‘ataraxia’. Ataraxia (ˈatəraksia), is the name of their newest EP, which means a state of serene calmness without emotional disturbance. The six-track EP describes the journey and the challenges of feeling this way, due to a mix of feelings of panic, anxiety, betrayal, and even death, that seem to lead you to an inevitable path of feeling like the world might just end—making the listener feel like they’re in a hazy, dreamlike track.
“Panic” is a dreamy synth indie rock song that opens the EP. It builds upon itself like a dreamy sound, making you feel like you’re in a dreamy trance amid anxious moments. It’s about wondering if anyone else, who isn’t them, always feels anxious and ready to panic about things. It’s an ask, and it’s a plead, to know if they aren’t the only ones who feel like this.
“Don’t Let The Sun In” is an alternative, 70s-inspired, soft rock track that feels like a hot mundane afternoon. “Don’t let the sun, the sun, the sun in,” the lyrics almost plead amid feelings of gloom, while getting stuck in a cycle where you want to simultaneously get better and see brighter days and then not see them. The sort of character Siam Jem envisions doesn’t want what they’re going through to feel real because the feelings are too much to bear.
“eyesore”, the sister of “Don’t Let the Sun In” sounds like the lovechild of Dayglow and Alvvays. With a bright splash of a chill indie instrumental, the lyrics contrast it with a longing and sad tone. It shows the duality of yearning, between wanting to feel accepted but also resisting because you somehow find the person to be an eyesore.
The EP takes a turn with “Say I Care” with jazz and soul infusions on the track. The song builds upon itself like it’s getting to a big moment or climax, but falls short every time. “In my dreams, it’s our family/Wrong or right there are no longer fights,” the lyrics say, in a strange moment of the duality of self-sabotage. It’s about being in a strange state of control, desiring to dislike and disengage from everything around you, just because you can.
“Passed the Point” is more chill and fuzzy, sounding like a day off the beach while you rest under the sun and enter into a trance, but here it’s wanting to be different. It’s about being past the point of pretending to show a different face or putting on a mask every day, and through loneliness, they will end up in the same cycle.
The EP concludes with “Hardly a Conversation” which is more upbeat sounding like bedroom pop, pulling the EP together in its finality. “It’s okay if you’re somewhere else/Just tell me it’s not going to be like all the time,” the lyric says explaining a gap in a relationship with someone, where you like them more than they like so, so in the end it’s yearning miscommunication.
Ataraxia is a relatable and tranquil indie album, trying to feel itself from distress and worry. The unique craft of the album grapples with the feeling of being lonely and feeling stuck in endless cycles as the world shifts around you. The tracks shift and sound like a neon sunny day, and evoke a tapestry of emotions. It’s a confession of desires through the lens of someone trying to reach ataraxia.
